I’m at a strange point in my life. Since I was a skinny little tween, all I’ve wanted to do was dance. I spent most of my time in the dance studio and would geek out on ballet videos with my fellow bunheads on the weekends. No one could deter me from my lofty ambitions…I was going to be a professional dancer.
Fast forward to the present, after rigorous training and 11 years of professional experience, and now I’m trying to understand that little girl from so long ago.
Currently, I feel like I have spilt personalities: Stephanie the dancer, Stephanie the student, and Stephanie the writer. And, honestly, it’s exhausting. I’m excited for my future and feel myself moving closer and closer to it, but ballet still has this bizarre, slightly abusive hold on me. Today, someone said to me, “well, it’s probably the longest relationship you’ve had.” I thought to myself, “oh crap, it is.” So, then the bigger question comes…am I breaking up with ballet?
This week, I’m in Denver and have been taking class with the Colorado Ballet. As I stretch before class, catching snippets of other dancers conversations, I feel so far removed from this strange world I’ve been apart of for so long. Lately, class feels like such a chore. But, on Thursday, I took a break from class to tour the CU Boulder campus and their J-School…and it was amazing.
Oh academia! This was stop number two on the grad school shopping list (Columbia was numero uno). I felt so at home, so inspired by my surroundings and, I have to admit, I was pretty sold by the beautiful mountains, shiny new Mac computers (and they say diamonds are a girl’s best friends), print editorial/broadcast combo concentration, flexibility in course offerings, and the city of Boulder.
Could this be my possible future?