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I still look like a ballerina. I’ve come to terms with this and no longer rue the fact, but there was a time when I railed against this identifying marker of my past – it felt so constricting, so haunting – a crushing reminder inducing feelings of failure. The events that led me to leave my life of dance are too involved to mention here, right now, but they left no doubt in my mind that I had to leave the path I’d been on for so long in order to grow. In some ways, of course, I’d already left – in deep places of my heart, I’d already left, but stepping into a new direction proved to be a greater challenge than I’d anticipated.

Today I feel like I’ve lived two lives.  In my first life: dance, achievement, adventure. In my second life: self-awareness, spiritual growth, marriage. The feeling of two lives lived before age thirty is exhausting: sometimes I simply do not have the desire to try as hard in this one as I did in the other one. But I miss being inspired and I miss being creative, and I’m sad that the only expression I’ve developed for my soul is the movement of my own body. I’m mad that I felt so controlled by my art form that the years I should have been gaining speed in my professional/educational life, I instead spent derailed, like a refugee – in a transitory survival mode.

But I am ready to be proud of my life again. I’m ready to stop running and start creating. This is the journey I hope to take with you. I think it is the most important journey of my life – as a woman, a soon-to-be mother, and a wife.

that was then

this is now

 

 

 

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Written by Kristin Storey

Kristin grew up in Orange County, CA. She began dance at age six, trained in Long Beach with David Wilcox, and went on to dance with Milwaukee Ballet, Boston Ballet, and the Suzanne Farrell Ballet – the latter of which was her favorite, affording the chance to travel, indulge in the work of Balanchine, and perform at the Edinburgh Festival. After five years of pursuing ballet as a career, Kristin moved back to California to be near family and explore life outside the studio. The exploration proved to be challenging, and five years later the journey remains challenging, but she remains committed to finding her way into a life that is inspiring and abundant. She lives in Costa Mesa, CA where she teaches fitness at Cardio Barre and classical ballet to children. She loves to cook, eat good food, dream up ideas for decorating her apartment, spend time with her husband, and anticipate the arrival the arrival of the baby growing in her belly.